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Oral Sex in Marriage

Time and again I am asked questions about what is permissible or allowed in the marital bed.  I generally assume that people are asking the question because one spouse thinks that a certain activity is great and really wants to engage in the particular thing, while the other one is reticent, uncomfortable or flat out doesn’t want to. Often what most people want to know is what the bible says about oral sex.  So for all of those who wonder if it’s okay, I will offer my opinion. Remember, this is what I think and you, your spouse, your grandma, Dr. Phil, or other marriage speakers and books—both Christian and secular—probably have a variety of answers to the question.

Let me start off by staying that the very important underlying premise of any discussion on sex is that husbands and wives are to be lovers to each other. That means you are to love the other person, consider him or her in your actions and do what you can to make your sexual relationship safe, secure and pleasurable. If both people are comfortable with and mutually desire something, then it’s on the table. If one doesn’t, it’s off.  I’m not sure what part of forcing, coercing and pressuring your mate to do something they don’t like fits into being a lover.

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