Wonder Drug
by Mark Gungor on November 17th, 2009
What if I were to tell you there was a pill you could take three times a week that would give you the following health benefits:
- Lower your risk of heart attack and stroke
- Reduce symptoms of depression
- Reduce risk of certain types of cancers
- Boost self-esteem and improve your mental health
- Reduce and relieve stress
- Help you sleep better
- Control your weight
- Increase your physical fitness
- Relieve pain
- Reduce the number of colds and flu
- Boost your immune system
- Improve bladder function
- Make you look younger
- Improve your reproductive health
- Prolong your life
And on top of these incredible benefits, this pill has no side effects, is completely safe, and it’s free! What would most people say? “Man, give me some of that!” Everyone would be in line trying to get the Wonder Drug. Point of fact, there is such a thing: it’s called sex. Studies have shown that sex has amazing health benefits. But let me point out that it’s not just any old sex—these studies show that the benefits do not come with the hot and heavy rush of new romance or illicit sex, but rather the sex that is a by product of a calm, stable, committed marriage. It’s not just sex. It’s long-term, married sex that is the Wonder Drug.
Researchers at Queens University have found that couples who have sex three times a week reap the benefits of it, including cutting the risk of heart attack and stroke in men by half. Women are always trying to get their husbands to eat better and exercise to improve their health, and that’s all fine, well and good. But no salad or morning jog can do all of the things that a healthy sex life can.
Another benefit is fewer colds and flu according to a Wilkes University in Pennsylvania study that says individuals who have sex once or twice a week show 30% higher levels of an antibody which is known to boost the immune system… Sex actually keeps you healthier!
In addition, other studies have found that hormones released during sex and found in semen can reduce depression, relieve pain of everything from migraines to arthritis to PMS. The same hormones can help improve sleep—even in those who suffer from insomnia, and they also reduce stress and improve mental health.
Check it out! These are just a few of the details on these studies! Yet, if I said this to women, the vast majority of them would snarl at me and say, “I’m not doing that!” This is absurd! This “miracle drug” is out there, free for the taking. This is one of the most beneficial things two human beings can do. Truly there is nothing else that exists that can do what sex does—yet the majority of people don’t take advantage of it.
We’ll do all kinds of other things, diets, exercise, medications, procedures, etc.—some with incredible side effects and risks associated with them, but we can’t manage to do the one thing that is risk-free and has been proven to improve not only your health, but your marriage as well. Wake up people! It’s time that we discover the Wonder Drug!
This one deserves a hoo-rah!
I blogged on the importance of sex within marriage a while ago. One of the many benefits I sighted were teh health benefits. Your list of health benefits is even more impressive than what I was aware of when I wrote my post. I may have to update….
I think the key is sex within marriage and all of the benefits of a lasting relationship that are more likely when a couple indeed seeks and enjoys sex three times a week. I don’t expect the results are the same when the sex is not within a nurturing and loving relationship. How do we keep the “whole” message alive and well?
Yeah, what about (married)sex that is not in a loving relationship?
This woman says YAHOO!!!!! I can’t wait to tell my husband!!! Thanks Mark!
Does a woman reap all those benefits if she doesn’t have an orgasm?
YEs the benefits are for women PLUS our brains release a chemical that actually allows us to feel “connected” to our husband. This chemical is only releases during this activity – pretty amazing – God thought of EVERYTHING. He wasn’t kidding when he said we would become “one”. Sounds perfect. Don’t worry about the big “O” it will come the more you feel safe and connected to your husband.
I totally agree! I sited this study a while ago and got some great responses from men and women. The only part of your blog I would take issue with is the ending. I don’t think most women who are in “long-term” marriages (which is the basis for the article) would say,”I’m not doing that!” As a matter of fact most studies show married couples have a better sex life than single people. (http://www.americanchronicle.com/articles/view/59290)(http://www.psychpage.com/family/library/brwaitgalligher.html) The end of your entry almost discounts the desire women have for sex and sounds a bit stereotypical. Do men want it more than women? sure, most of the time. But that doesn’t mean they don’t see the benefits of it as well. As a matter of fact I believe the majority of men who get a negative comment like that are single or living together as opposed to those in a loving marriage.
Just my opinion.
Well, I guess that makes me in the minority then Dino. I would like to experience this wonder drug even twice a month. Periods of up to two or three months without the “cure” are not all that uncommon. It seems that for some women a man is rewarded with sex when he can periodically attain some level of near perfection. Only then is he deserving. For those who might be thinking, “What a loser”, knock yourself out. There just happens to be a mindset in some women that says they don’t make mistakes, that if there are two differing opinions then hers is always right, that the man is always at fault, that “I don’t carry no stinking baggage, mister. Only men(and other women)do.” I just don’t seem to be able to navigate my way around and through all that to attain perfection. I would have to become some other man, and in the process would become a useless twit, only responding, never leading or being creative. Consider yourself fortunate.
So sorry you are struggling! Sounds more like some communication issues and spiritual issues need some work. My husband and I have been going to counseling, not to improve our marriage, but to grow closer to our Spiritual Father who created us – this in turn has improved our marriage, and our sex life tremendously!!! And we actually began this journey with Mark’s videos “Laugh your way …” Trust me “we” had some issues to work through – we still do, but it is getting better, and trusting in God to bring us through! Thank you to Mark, and our counselor!!! Our sex life is amazing – better than when we were first married, and that was 23 1/2 years ago!!!
Good for YOU!! Ask and we shall receive!!
Hi Dennis,
Beleive it or not coming from a woman, I understand.
Not because thats how i feel, but that is how my husband felt.
I didn’t know that, and now he’s gone. I wld give anything to
have another chance, because I love him soo much!
Please talk to yr wife, there isn’t anything that cannot be
resolved. With the right help of course & with God.
All the best!
As a woman in a wonderful loving relationship with very infrequent “cures”, I, too, agree that more sexual intimacy would deepen our marriage and bring on a closer relationship and better health. After almost 18 yrs of marriage, I admit I still don’t know how to do that! Too many hours working and other obligations can rob any interest in staying awake longer, even if it’s for something so important. My timing with my husband seems to always be on a different cycle and when I think I’m making myself clear, “Come on, come to bed with me. You know you’re just going to fall asleep as soon as I walk away…” doesn’t seem to be clear enough. Even as a grown woman, I don’t know how to say/show/convey when I would like to share an intimate moment. Unfortunately, my husband reaps the lack of my confidence. I still would rather have sex for him, a way to let him know how much I love him, than for myself. I do believe my hubby is a saint! I would love to share intimacy 3x per week – but HOW?!
An excellent resource is the book by Gary Chapman, “The Five Love Languages” I believe that sex is the ultimate face to face form of communication, but that the ability to have it starts way before the bedroom. AND, according to Chapman, we all have a primary “love language.” Since reading this book I have realized my own LL and those of my loved ones and it really works. Because if a person doesn’t feel loved by the time the bedroom comes around, sex can be difficult if not impossible. It’s common for married couples to not know their spouses love language, so it’s worth looking into.
I’m with you too Dennis, unfortunately. I think Mark’s comment about women saying “I’m not doing that!” is probably right on in many situations. My wife showed me this article, but I think some women (men too probably) view it as propoganda. “Three times a week?” was her comment, like who has time for that. As she proceeds to spend 45 minutes reviewing Facebook posts and blog entries from the day.
Dennis, my wife was just like yours. I recommend you go to marriage counseling right away. It is covered by most health insurance plans. We didn’t go… my wife began having affairs… it became an unsafe situation, and we’re getting divorce. She wants sex, just not with you. She has issues with you, but chooses not recognize issues with herself. Counseling is the only way to get her to see her half of the problem. Good luck to you.
I think there is an important component missing in this article and the responses to it. Some women such as me, unknowingly have hormonal problems which completely block ANY desire for sex. After 20 years of a frustrating and turbulant marriage, I finally found a medical doctor who checked me for testerone…and guess what? None! I had none. And men, understand this…if you didn’t have that hormone, you would NEVER want sex. Your wife was built to also have small amounts of the same hormone but many, many women live in a sexless marriage because they have a physical problem that the medical field ignores. We all can see how Viagra is so loudly promoted…but where is the same concern for the women’s sexual dysfunction? Husbands, ask your wife to get the test for this hormone. If, like me, she is deficient it doesn’t take long to see a difference!
Now, that’s what I’m talking about!! Already sent it to my husband!!
We agree!! Sometimes life gets in the way of our own health, too bad.
Keep up the good word Mark we appreciate what you bring to our attention. And we will practice what you preach!
For women, claiming sex as a “wonder drug” is not a motivation toward the bedroom. Married to a man who is negative and doesn’t share life emotionally leaves many a woman with low libido. In it for the long haul doesn’t equate with a healthy marriage. No amount of sex is going to create a healthier mental/emotional life and the health of the mind is a strong contributor to the health of the body. There’s more to health and marriage than sex when you’re talking with women.
Dear Elaine, I know your frustration, I’ve been living it for a number of years myself, but I must say I have been seeking the Lord on this for quite some time and have actually been earnestly praying that I would desire to bless my husband instead of waiting for him to connect with me emotionally. The change in my husband was immediate. All of a sudden he felt loved. One study I read said that is how a man feels loved when he is married. Giving when you don’t feel like it and asking God to help you love your man the way he needs love is the answer and believe me he will follow with that connection you are looking for. God Bless
I TOTALLY agree with you, Elaine!!! WELL SAID!!!
I disagree Elaine. As a woman I do look at the “wonder drug” as a motivater toward the bedroom. Hopefully, anyway. My husband isnt as interested in sex as I am. I dont blame him for that he just isnt. But his health is an issue and looking at sex as a wonder drug does interest me. I asked him to read it if its the only thing he does for me today. Maybe he will realize this is affecting his health in many ways. And I truly care about him and his health. Please be careful, you cant speak for all women. But I do agree that a healthy soul is important too. Work on that, pray, and the rest will follow.
To Elaine and Carol – my wife considered me to be the kind of husband that you both are married to. She was very unhappy and withheld sex for years. We talked about it every so often and just could not connect. I was problem according to her.
Well, eventually it became too much for her to live without any intimacy. She sought out other men and after it became dangerous we entered into divorce. Through the divorce process I am learning where she was an equal contributor to the problems in our marriage.
I agree that sometimes it is all the man’s fault. For example, if you married a criminal. But even then you knew what you were getting into.
I was too embarrassed to call a marriage counselor and say “We’re not having any sex, I think this isn’t right” because my wife had convinced me that she and most other women had just outgrown it, and it was a reward for a perfect husband. Of course perfection is unattainable.
So now lawyers are eating up every cent we have and my wife and I will be left with nothing. I’m prepared for that because this process has opened me up to the changes I need to make, and I made the call for professional help the day after the divorce started and I am improving.
My wife however, still blames me for everything, and sees none of her responsibility in this. I’ve now met many people who went through the same thing, and even years and sometimes decades later their ex-wives are just empty shells.
I wholey agree from my own experience. I am a migraine sufferer but sleeping with my husband helps. I also have aweful menstral cramp issues and again it really does help! It helps our stress levels it really does work as great excerise (20lbs in 2 months I’d say it worked for me!)and I am definately all around healthier and happier. I used to suffer from evere depression issues… Gone and off meds. I wish more people knew ths stuff sex is so important in a marraige I cannot imagine not being interested in my husband or not trying to work through a sexless marraige.
And if you are a business owner, I encourage you to work very hard NOT to take business to the bedroom! If husband and wife are both owners of the business, great married sex, makes it a pleasure doing business! There seems to be a definite correlation between business profitablity and stress management!
That’s all well and good, but please address the reasons why women don’t want to have sex with their husbands. Sometimes ladies get tired of competing with magazines, movies, and even their husband’s right hand.
There is one “side effect” and it’s going to be a boy this time!
Yes married sex is suposed to be great. But what if the guy complains about the woman’s weight, she is not doing all the things he likes sexually.. like oral sex? If she agrees she feels like a prostitute.. if she refuses he complains. She works on her weight but is never thin enough. Wished it were as simple as enjoying one another like it is supposed to be! For me the whole issue is painful and sad. I am tired of being rejected for not looking and acting like one of those girls in pornography. Would love to have sex three times a week.. but not if it means I am subject to criticism and coldness after for not being like one of the ladies he fantisizes about. I can not compete.
Really sorry for you June. But does this not bring into question the whole point of devoting most of our time to watching pornography. What is it that one benefits from watching porn that can not be achieved without watching it? The more you watch porn the more fantancies you shall have, fantancies your parteners can not be able to offer unfortunately. Be careful with porn, its just another weapon the devil is using to break-up marriages.
Please know that there are A LOT more women out there that actually have the opposite problem; a husband with a low to none sex drive. I would gladly have sex with my husband whom I adore 3-5 times a week. I am blessed if he wants sex once a week. Mostly, it is once every two weeks for maybe 5 minutes. I can honestly say that I know he is not having an affair, he loves me, and he claims he thinks about it. Yet, work, stress, computer games, and other distractions occur before any action in the bedroom. We have talked, we have cried, he has seen the dr. but nothing has helped so far. At first it devastated me, now I try to be grateful for the times we are able to be close.
God didn’t say that sex was reqiured to have a happy and lasting marriage.Sex is not what a marriage about if you marry for trust, companionship, love and put GOD first in it He will take care of all your needs,see due to health complication I have to depend upon God.HE is MY WONDER DRUG.
“Naked and unashamed” is a wonderful thing for body and soul!
I see several negative posts, Mostly from people who apperently have “other” issues in their marriages or relationships. I whole heartily agree that a healthy and promiscuious sex life with your life partner is healthy in more than a physical way. Now to find a wife to share this with. Oh BTW I’m 52 and divorced and Yes Lack of sexual desire on her part was 70% of the reason for the divorce.
I totally agree with this, I never say not tonight I have a headache. I hope that tonights the night if I have a headache or don’t feel well. My husband can always make me feel better.
I am sooo glad to read this article and some of these posts. The public makes it sound as if ALL married women don’t care to have sex (@ least w/husband) and ALL men are starving wanting more and more. It gives me encouragement to know I am normal. To see that there are other married women saying that they have a higher desire than their husbands. I too would be willing to go 3-5 times a week and that is after 16+ years married to the same man (yea)! Thou he does not seem to have that same desire. I have not given up yet, thou. God made this special time for us and He will help make it more pleasurable and compatibile for both of us. And I totally agree with the headaches/menstral cramps theory. I learned this early in our marriage, on my own actually, by mistake But “IT” works wonders. Thank you, God, Mark and fellow post-ers. =)
Yes Sex is great in a loving happy relationship. But it is hard to enjoy when you are in an abusive relationship The love and happiness turns sour really fast and it is hard to get past all of the hurt. especially when the yelling, name calling etc start as soon as the sex is over. It is hard to have any desire for some one who hurts you and doesn’t take your needs into consideration. We have been together for over 16 yrs and married for almost 14 yrs. I would love to have arelationship that is nurturing, caring loving and good wonderdrug.
I couldn’t agree more with the original article. I adore my husband… currently we are far less than the three a week, but that’s because he trying to fix a low thyroid issue that causes him to be constantly exhausted. We used to be daily! I’d love to get back to that… I’m sure when his energy starts to return we’ll get at least the three (even with seven children and both of us working full time!)
I wish God allowed me to have a husband, then i could of joined in.
been married 38 years and now living a sexless marriage for 5 years. don’t know what to do. been praying 4 ever and telling hubby i need to be intimate but he says he can’t help it…..no desire…………..WHAT DO I DO? he won’t go to a counselor or let me discuss it with ANYONE….I do talk to GOD….he has tried Viagra and others and still nothing but headaches! HELP!!!!!!
ooops by others I meant other medications!!!Geeez first time I let it out I get no response!
Don’t know what to tell you, honestly. Been married only 4 years. I would think it is a hormonal problem but you say medications have not worked. It could be difficult for him to deal with coz his ego is probably affected. Maybe you could try working on that – to boost his ego.
What if the guy doesn’t have drive and still shy’s away from his ego being boosted?? What if he doesn’t like taking compliments..
I find all these benefits of the wonderdrug fiction to me (excuse my negativity). For me, sex is a painful process that I have to persevere through. Everytime I cross my fingers that my husband will not ask for it. I end up being more tired at the end of it, especially when I wake up in the morning. It also leaves me stressed. As a result I could comfortably live without it.
Somebody please advise.
What would I do if there were such a pill? I would ask for it 7 times a week and not just 3. Or maybe 8 or 9 times a week. LOL if only our kids and our schedules would allow…!