Posts Tagged ‘marriage’

I don’t really like marriage enrichment programs. Considering that I spend a great deal of my life traveling and presenting my own marriage seminar, that sounds quite strange. It’s not that I don’t believe it’s important to educate and enlighten couples on how to have a successful marriage, rather, I am just not a fan of the sorts of groups, classes, weekend retreats, books and conferences that end up creating more issues than they solve.

Let me explain. I actually know of couples that have been to a marriage seminar and their marriage ended up a mess because of it. Prior to attending, they were perfectly happy with their relationship but that came to a screeching halt when seeds of discontent were planted.  Men and women may be very content in their marriage until some expert or pastor tells them how things “should be” or what they “should be” doing if they want to have a great marriage. You should be praying together everyday, you should be having sex 3-4 times a week, you should be spending at least 30 minutes of time each day sharing your thoughts, hopes and dreams…do you get the point?

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Imagine if you will, all of the major news networks announce that starting tomorrow there will be no police presence in a city, let’s say Chicago. The news report states that for the next 72 hours, no security, no officers, no squad cars, nothing will be patrolling the streets of downtown, nor will they respond to any 911 calls for help. No rules or laws will be enforced. What would happen?

We all know that absolute anarchy, chaos, and lawlessness would reign. People would be robbing, looting, even murdering if they could get away with it, and what would the public outcry be? All would be yelling, “This is crazy! Where are the police!?” Because it’s the police that are supposed to enforce and uphold the law, and if they are simply going to neglect their duty, then people will run amuck.

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It’s a line from Pee-wee Herman in his movie Pee-wee’s Big Adventure… and it doesn’t mean that all of us have gigantic backsides, although it sounds pretty funny when you think of the possible double meaning! He’s trying to explain something to his friend Simone and the conversation goes like this:

Simone: I know you’re right, Pee-wee, but…

Pee-wee: But what? Everyone I know has a big “But….

This isn’t the word butt, rather b-u-t. The one small, three-letter word that has all the power to dismiss, discount and disregard everything that came before it. People can hear the truth, they can be given all the guidance, direction and wisdom that they need to live right and make the proper choices. Yet in the quick and swift utterance of this one word,  believe they’ve exempted themselves and that they are not required to heed the truth. After all, their big but quickly erases everything.

In the last post I began discussing the way most churches handle teaching their young people about sexual purity (or not teaching it as the case may be). While many Christians use purity rings and pledges to ensure right living, they also throw in a healthy measure of the world’s view making concessions for masturbation and what I term “non-sex” sex to tackle the question of sexual immorality. But we are giving the wrong answer.

It’s time that The Church starts acting like The Church, time to start giving the right answer to immorality and that answer is this: Get married.

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There is a great song by Michael Buble titled “Everything”. It’s quite romantic actually, as he is telling his girl how important she is to him:

You’re a falling star, You’re the get away car.
You’re the line in the sand when I go too far.
You’re the swimming pool, on an August day.
And you’re the perfect thing to say.

And you play it coy, but it’s kinda cute.
Ah, when you smile at me you know exactly what you do.
Baby don’t pretend, that you don’t know it’s true.
Cause you can see it when I look at you.

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