Posts Tagged ‘mark gungor’

I don’t really like marriage enrichment programs. Considering that I spend a great deal of my life traveling and presenting my own marriage seminar, that sounds quite strange. It’s not that I don’t believe it’s important to educate and enlighten couples on how to have a successful marriage, rather, I am just not a fan of the sorts of groups, classes, weekend retreats, books and conferences that end up creating more issues than they solve.

Let me explain. I actually know of couples that have been to a marriage seminar and their marriage ended up a mess because of it. Prior to attending, they were perfectly happy with their relationship but that came to a screeching halt when seeds of discontent were planted.  Men and women may be very content in their marriage until some expert or pastor tells them how things “should be” or what they “should be” doing if they want to have a great marriage. You should be praying together everyday, you should be having sex 3-4 times a week, you should be spending at least 30 minutes of time each day sharing your thoughts, hopes and dreams…do you get the point?

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Dear Mark,

I watched a video of your marriage seminar with one of my friends as a part of our Bible study. When we got to the part about sex, we were shocked that you were recommending people wear two condoms if they were using them at all. I am a firm believer in sex after marriage, but you cannot tell people to double up on condoms. The latex rubs against each other and is much more likely to tear. Essentially, the concept of “double bagging” does not apply here. Counterintuitive, I know, but please make sure that you are giving people correct information regarding condom usage.

Thank you.
Anna

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Much has been written and broadcast in the media about high profile personalities committing adultery. It has struck the marriages of many people from Hollywood celebrities to politicians, sports figures to pastors and church leaders. While these cases are fodder for every talk show, news and quasi-news program, the reality for the rest of us is that many normal, average, ordinary people engage in adulterous affairs. Often times husbands or wives who end up in an affair are not totally miserable in their marriage, as most people assume. In fact, recent studies show that even those people who rate their marital relationship as “pretty happy” and “very happy” end up committing adultery. Affairs don’t only happen in bad marriages.

Researchers say that one of the greatest risk factors for infidelity isn’t what is going on inside the marriage, but something that is outside. That risk factor is opportunity. The state of your marriage isn’t necessarily the greatest indicator of infidelity, so you need to be very careful. Far too many people make the mistake of thinking, “Our marriage is just fine. We love each other, we’re solid and it would never happen to us.” Then they let down their guard and don’t pay attention to the situations they allow themselves to be in because they feel like they are safe. It’s the furthest thing from the truth. (more…)

There are things in life that we typically don’t think twice about until something changes or impacts our normal day-to-day activities. For instance, usually there is no reason to be concerned about things such as saying hello and greeting someone with a handshake or a hug. But that can change dramatically during times of crisis or epidemic (real or potential) and people have to consider that they are not in a “business-as-usual” situation. Take for instance the recent scenario of H1N1 in our country. For the first time people in the public sector were dealing with something that would ordinarily never be an issue. Even pastors at churches were making decisions as to the safety of something as simple as greeting those around you at a Sunday morning church service. Again, the rules changed because of the circumstances around us.
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Way too many women are dating guys thinking they can change or morph them into the man they want him to be. It would be far better to just find a guy that is more of what you want. If he’s a frog, you aren’t going to turn him into prince charming. You need to move on. I don’t know what it is in the female psyche that makes women think that the bum will be different when they are married.

If you don’t like the fact that he isn’t a devoted follower of Jesus, or that he smokes or is a slob, or whatever—you fill in the blank—but think by some “magical cosmic force” he’ll be different once you are married, you are fooling yourself. Women will say they want a solid Christian man, someone with a good job and a wonderful mother but date a guy who stays in bed and watches TV rather than going to church, can’t hold a steady job and whose mother is a banshee. Then they think these things will go away, won’t matter or that they can change him. These ladies are in for a ton of misery.
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