Posts Tagged ‘life’

Guest Blogger-Diane Brierley, Co-Host of The Mark Gungor Show

Several times on the radio show, we have heard from wives who feel as if they have to be and do everything in their homes and are very upset because their husbands don’t help them. I call this the “Martha Complex”—where wives think they have to be “superwoman”.  Now, because Mark Gungor is not a woman and he is not a “Martha”, he asked me to give my perspective speaking as a “reformed” Martha!

We can start with the biblical example of Martha and Mary (Luke 10:38-42) when addressing women about this and see how Mary was sitting at the feet of Jesus just listening to him while Martha was running around taking care of all that she thought needed to be done. Martha ends up getting mad because she’s doing all the work, and thinking Jesus will be on her side, asks Jesus to tell Mary to help her. But Jesus doesn’t do that. Instead, he tells Martha to chill out and leave Mary alone because she has chosen what is better–that which is more important. (The Gungor translation!)
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Helping Military Couple Reconnect after Deployment

People change—it’s just a fact of life. You are not the same person at 51 as you are at 21. Everyone grows and changes over time.  Not only do we change physically with less hair, more weight, less strength and energy and more age spots and wrinkles, we change in our personalities, motivations, and priorities. Even as a couple you aren’t the same today as when you started out in those early years of dating and marriage. People say, “But can’t it be like it was in the beginning?” The answer is no, it can’t be. We grow, mature and change over time…it’s called life. We evolve physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually and that can be a real challenge to a marriage if you don’t pay attention to your spouse.  Husbands and wives who get caught up in their own worlds and fail to make the necessary adjustments tend to drift apart. I’m sure you have heard of couples who have been married 25 or 30 years and end up staring across the breakfast table at the other person having absolutely no idea who that is! Generally that’s the exception, not the norm since most couples manage to navigate the path of the changes in life. Slowly over the years they learn, grow and make the adjustments together.

Now, sudden change can be a lot more difficult to handle.  Things like a cancer diagnosis, other illness such as a stroke or catastrophic injuries from an accident that leave a person paralyzed, the death of a parent—or God forbid, a child can all apply extreme pressure to a marriage. Both people may change dramatically due to the stress and circumstances of the situation.  Yet the couple is together during the time learning to cope with the ordeal, and the ensuing bumps and hurdles they have to clear. These types of situations often times bring a husband and wife closer to one another. Trials and tribulations can be very bonding when you are going through it with your mate. (more…)

“I just don’t feel what I used to feel for you.”
“I love you, but I’m not in love with you anymore.”
“I believe I’ve found my soul mate…and it isn’t you.”
Or as the Righteous Brothers sang, “You’ve lost that loving feeling.”

However people want to word it, the bottom line is this: the fabulous and intense experience of our early love isn’t there anymore. I guess it wasn’t true love after all.

In the wonderful movie classic, The Princess Bride, the cotton-mouthed, speech-challenged priest talks about “true love” (or “twuuuu wuv” as he says it!) at the wedding ceremony of Princess Buttercup and Prince Humperdink. He states that true love will follow you forever. While it makes for a great movie line, in reality it is a bunch of nonsense. True love doesn’t follow you like a little puppy that is constantly there. It’s actually more like a greased pig! You have to chase after it and pursue it. You have to run it down and tackle it and when it gets away, you go after it one more time. You may finally get a hold of it for a while, but then the little rascal can slip away and you have to chase it down again.
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