Comments on: Scheduling Sex http://www.laughyourway.com/blog/scheduling-sex/ Improving Marriages, One Laugh at a Time Fri, 03 Feb 2012 13:14:03 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.4 By: Sarah Wright http://www.laughyourway.com/blog/scheduling-sex/comment-page-1/#comment-115 Sarah Wright Thu, 05 Mar 2009 19:46:51 +0000 http://www.laughyourway.com/?p=388#comment-115 Hi Marsha, It sounds like there are other underlying wounds or emotional issues on your husbands part. My suggestion would be to go to a Sexy Christian Conference by Diane and Ted Roberts. Their website is www.puredesire.org. This conference changed mine and my husbands marriage. We were struggling with intimacy and we have only been married for 1 year! Approach the conference as a fun time to learn about God and Sex, a topic that is not always talked about in church. Also, we have also read together the books Captivating and Wild at Heart by John and Staci Elderedge. I read the books, he listened to them on tape! these books really talked about the wounds that men and women receive that can cause them to feel inadequate and how to help them heal. Good luck! Hi Marsha,

It sounds like there are other underlying wounds or emotional issues on your husbands part.
My suggestion would be to go to a Sexy Christian Conference by Diane and Ted Roberts. Their website is http://www.puredesire.org.

This conference changed mine and my husbands marriage. We were struggling with intimacy and we have only been married for 1 year! Approach the conference as a fun time to learn about God and Sex, a topic that is not always talked about in church.

Also, we have also read together the books Captivating and Wild at Heart by John and Staci Elderedge. I read the books, he listened to them on tape! these books really talked about the wounds that men and women receive that can cause them to feel inadequate and how to help them heal.

Good luck!

]]> By: Marsha http://www.laughyourway.com/blog/scheduling-sex/comment-page-1/#comment-79 Marsha Tue, 17 Feb 2009 05:00:47 +0000 http://www.laughyourway.com/?p=388#comment-79 I am afraid to approach my husband with the idea. Less than six months after we were married we stopped being intimate. He said it is a health issue, but I have made appointments that were missed. After waiting now for three years I made an appointment and attended my husband to the doctor. Indeed he was referred to a Urologist that was in September I am still waiting for him to get to the Urologist. I know he is afraid, because he is not circumcised. However, our 4th anniversary is coming up and I would like it not to be a celibate one again. I love my husband he is intelligent, fun to be with and a good christian. I do not want to share this problem for fear it will demoralize him. Any suggestions out there? I am afraid to approach my husband with the idea. Less than six months after we were married we stopped being intimate. He said it is a health issue, but I have made appointments that were missed. After waiting now for three years I made an appointment and attended my husband to the doctor. Indeed he was referred to a Urologist that was in September I am still waiting for him to get to the Urologist. I know he is afraid, because he is not circumcised. However, our 4th anniversary is coming up and I would like it not to be a celibate one again. I love my husband he is intelligent, fun to be with and a good christian. I do not want to share this problem for fear it will demoralize him. Any suggestions out there?

]]> By: chris http://www.laughyourway.com/blog/scheduling-sex/comment-page-1/#comment-65 chris Fri, 13 Feb 2009 06:11:22 +0000 http://www.laughyourway.com/?p=388#comment-65 go watch tv with her...get engaged in what she's engaged in if you want her attention. When she knows you have her attention then she will do what you want... go watch tv with her…get engaged in what she’s engaged in if you want her attention. When she knows you have her attention then she will do what you want…

]]> By: Lady waiting http://www.laughyourway.com/blog/scheduling-sex/comment-page-1/#comment-50 Lady waiting Thu, 05 Feb 2009 22:02:30 +0000 http://www.laughyourway.com/?p=388#comment-50 We both in our second marriage decided to wait. It really paid off. Few years later and we are enjoying our life. I seem to find myself to be more suggestive in creativity than he is but, it's all good. I tease him about it but my playful words have become part of the thrill. I want to encourage couples to date and surprise one another; and keep the creativity in your greetings at the end of the day. Welcome home dear! We both in our second marriage decided to wait. It really paid off. Few years later and we are enjoying our life. I seem to find myself to be more suggestive in creativity than he is but, it’s all good. I tease him about it but my playful words have become part of the thrill. I want to encourage couples to date and surprise one another; and keep the creativity in your greetings at the end of the day. Welcome home dear!

]]> By: viorel http://www.laughyourway.com/blog/scheduling-sex/comment-page-1/#comment-49 viorel Thu, 05 Feb 2009 18:21:51 +0000 http://www.laughyourway.com/?p=388#comment-49 good coment samuel. v good coment samuel. v

]]> By: Samuel G Smith, MD http://www.laughyourway.com/blog/scheduling-sex/comment-page-1/#comment-47 Samuel G Smith, MD Wed, 04 Feb 2009 21:46:55 +0000 http://www.laughyourway.com/?p=388#comment-47 Two things: 1) Mark, you are old enough to remember that "having sex" did not always mean "having intercourse" as it seems to mean now. In my talks to fellow prostate cancer survivors I emphasize the fact that there are a whole range of activities that are sexual from hand holding to where ever anyone wants to go and by thinking this way, intimacy is maintained and "having sex" is not such a big deal. 2)Schedualing sex is very important, particularly if the sex the couple wants, includes intercourse. From a pre bath that may be felt to be necessary to whatever it might take to achieve an erection (particularly important after prostate cancer therapy) and even with a requirement for any of the erection pills or making sure of the availability of a water based lubricant if the woman is menopusal, schedualing is imperative. Mike says that his wife wants other things even if there is a schedual establised. A psychologist talked in Sarasota of the fact that there has to be a "willingness" for the woman to engage in sexual activity, and since we know that the current paradigm in female sexuality is that "desire" comes after "arousal" that comes after a "willingness to be stimulated" that comes after a "comfortable environment with emotional intimacy" until the first step is in place, she will probably want to watch TV. Two things: 1) Mark, you are old enough to remember that “having sex” did not always mean “having intercourse” as it seems to mean now. In my talks to fellow prostate cancer survivors I emphasize the fact that there are a whole range of activities that are sexual from hand holding to where ever anyone wants to go and by thinking this way, intimacy is maintained and “having sex” is not such a big deal. 2)Schedualing sex is very important, particularly if the sex the couple wants, includes intercourse. From a pre bath that may be felt to be necessary to whatever it might take to achieve an erection (particularly important after prostate cancer therapy) and even with a requirement for any of the erection pills or making sure of the availability of a water based lubricant if the woman is menopusal, schedualing is imperative. Mike says that his wife wants other things even if there is a schedual establised. A psychologist talked in Sarasota of the fact that there has to be a “willingness” for the woman to engage in sexual activity, and since we know that the current paradigm in female sexuality is that “desire” comes after “arousal” that comes after a “willingness to be stimulated” that comes after a “comfortable environment with emotional intimacy” until the first step is in place, she will probably want to watch TV.

]]> By: Mike http://www.laughyourway.com/blog/scheduling-sex/comment-page-1/#comment-44 Mike Wed, 04 Feb 2009 00:10:48 +0000 http://www.laughyourway.com/?p=388#comment-44 We've tried this in the past, but when the time comes, my wife finds other things, including watching TV, that she prefers to do. I'm still trying to work this out. Anyone have a suggestion? We’ve tried this in the past, but when the time comes, my wife finds other things, including watching TV, that she prefers to do. I’m still trying to work this out. Anyone have a suggestion?

]]> By: Russ http://www.laughyourway.com/blog/scheduling-sex/comment-page-1/#comment-41 Russ Tue, 03 Feb 2009 16:28:54 +0000 http://www.laughyourway.com/?p=388#comment-41 Generally good advice, but I have found my wife often feels "pressured" in receiving the little flirts and hints about the upcoming day. Sometimes it has ruined the day when it finally arrives. Generally good advice, but I have found my wife often feels “pressured” in receiving the little flirts and hints about the upcoming day. Sometimes it has ruined the day when it finally arrives.

]]> By: Jo http://www.laughyourway.com/blog/scheduling-sex/comment-page-1/#comment-40 Jo Mon, 02 Feb 2009 15:39:30 +0000 http://www.laughyourway.com/?p=388#comment-40 Good info ... and it works. The part that being touched and kissed does not have to lead to sex...but can if ... realy does take the "pressure" off and lets one enjoy the moment ... Good info … and it works. The part that being touched and kissed does not have to lead to sex…but can if … realy does take the “pressure” off and lets one enjoy the moment …

]]> By: Dino Watt http://www.laughyourway.com/blog/scheduling-sex/comment-page-1/#comment-35 Dino Watt Fri, 30 Jan 2009 18:33:39 +0000 http://www.laughyourway.com/?p=388#comment-35 Great. Great. Great. Totally agree and will link this to my blog for my readers. Great. Great. Great. Totally agree and will link this to my blog for my readers.

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