Marriage is a Marathon
by Mark Gungor on February 14th, 2013
Sprints and marathons are two distinctly different races. In a sprint, one of the most critical elements is the start. Runners practice for hours on end getting into those little blocks and bursting out the very nanosecond the gun goes off. Why? Because if you falter in the start, you don’t stand a chance of winning the race.
On the other hand, the starts of marathons are not that important at all. Most runners are just standing around waiting for the gun to go off. Truth is, you could fall down, have three guys run over you, get up, and still win the race. It’s not the start that is so important; it is the endurance.
Today, many believe marriage is like a sprint, that the start is what is critical. I never cease to be amazed at how many struggling couples point to the start as the reason for their struggles. “We were too young.” “We didn’t know each other for very long.” “We didn’t have enough money.” They are convinced that the poor start is the reason for their troubles, but they are wrong. Marriage is not a sprint; it is a marathon. It is not the start that leads to a failed marriage, but the unwillingness to endure the race.
You don’t do marathons quickly. You have to spread out your energy over time. Endurance is what empowers a couple over the long haul. It will enable you to push through old familiar conflict zones for the ten-thousandth time without quitting; you just keep going and going. . . Scripture urges, “Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how He did it. Because He never lost sight of where He was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—He could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever.” That’s endurance. It makes marriages last.
This is so very true. The endurance required in marriage in the forms of patience, understanding and forgiveness are strengths also developed over time. To do great in marriage long term you have to get lots of practice so you can’t give up if you get tired. Each trial is a new opportunity to strengthen those skills for the next time and an opportunity to show your partner they’re worth the effort!
Thanks for your encouragement and knowledge. It really helps me with my marathon!
The main reason for divorce is that one or both partners is unable or unwilling to endure the trouble spots in the marriage.
Just attended your marriage conference at Cornerstone church in Tn. It was wonderful! I’ve never heard marriage described so accurately. And don’t believe I’ve ever laughed so hard! Even though we have been married 26 years, marriage finally makes sense! .Understanding the man and woman relationship is truly a gift from God. Keep up the good work and we hope to see you when you return to Cornerstone.
I agree, that marriage is not about the sprint, but about the marathon. I believe that building a strong relationship and managing expectations are critical. As a man, I realize that communication is important and men and women are wired differently. I am in love and wish and pray for wisdom in my communication. I ask God to help me in this endeavor.