Comments on: Love is Like a Greased Pig! http://www.laughyourway.com/blog/love-is-like-a-greased-pig/ Improving Marriages, One Laugh at a Time Thu, 11 Mar 2010 14:10:39 -0600 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Michelle http://www.laughyourway.com/blog/love-is-like-a-greased-pig/comment-page-1/#comment-1042 Michelle Tue, 29 Sep 2009 22:27:33 +0000 http://www.laughyourway.com/?p=479#comment-1042 What if the "pig" is the one who isn't happy but yet he doesn't want to do anything about it. We've went to one councilor and to a marriage retreat and he thinks we have done a TON of things to strengthen our marriage of only 3 years but it's not strengthening. He's not happy and doesn't know why. Doesn't love me anymore "as a wife should be loved". It's easier for him to throw in the towel than to try! I don't know how to get through to him. He's a fitness trainer and works out a lot...at least an hour and a half a day then when he comes home, that's all he talks about for the next 2 hours. Now there is a series of marriage classes I would like to try out at a local church but he is "frustrated with trying and nothing ever working." He's "losing, time and energy on something that we don't know will work or not!" How does a person respond to that!? What if the “pig” is the one who isn’t happy but yet he doesn’t want to do anything about it. We’ve went to one councilor and to a marriage retreat and he thinks we have done a TON of things to strengthen our marriage of only 3 years but it’s not strengthening. He’s not happy and doesn’t know why. Doesn’t love me anymore “as a wife should be loved”. It’s easier for him to throw in the towel than to try! I don’t know how to get through to him. He’s a fitness trainer and works out a lot…at least an hour and a half a day then when he comes home, that’s all he talks about for the next 2 hours. Now there is a series of marriage classes I would like to try out at a local church but he is “frustrated with trying and nothing ever working.” He’s “losing, time and energy on something that we don’t know will work or not!” How does a person respond to that!?

]]> By: Nicole http://www.laughyourway.com/blog/love-is-like-a-greased-pig/comment-page-1/#comment-1028 Nicole Sun, 27 Sep 2009 04:00:44 +0000 http://www.laughyourway.com/?p=479#comment-1028 Sarah (and all the others who have written in this blog)... I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your words and prayers. I have been reading all the responses over and over again all summer long to get some encouragement and how wonderful it is to get it from complete strangers! It's really tough believing in myself but I'm working on it. I'm waiting for God to speak to me clearly so I understand what I am to do. Yes, I would love it if He sent me a postcard but I won't hold my breath. He has sent special people into my life, He has been watching over me, and taking care of me. I thank God for His love for me. I still struggle with the searching I've done since I got married. Searching for someone to listen to me, who wants to know me, wants to love me, wants to be my friend... it's something I've done not realizing I'm starving for attention. I'm in no way a high maintenance person but have gotten so used to giving and caring for my husband that no one has been taking care of me. It makes me sad to think this could be my life. That I may never be strong enough to make choices for myself - always afraid of hurting others. All the things I've been learning about ME - my likes, dislikes, dreams, goals, etc... and I am in this covenant with the wrong person. Is it so wrong for me to want to be loved and taken care of and give of my love in return? How do you deal with a person who treats you like you're crazy, a nag, a witch with a capital B, selfish, and so on... and you know that is NOT you. I can't even TRY to talk to my husband about anything that bothers me or upsets me because he accuses me of attacking him. It's always been like that - as a stepmother there were no rules or guidelines with my stepdaughter; no standing up for himself towards his ex wife - it was always them against me (they're history for me now); with finances there is no discussing anything bad (debt, etc.) - only good things; no discussing how WE want to handle the children; no being angry or upset... so I have become a happy, bubbly person with a lot of suppressed anger and resentment to cover up my confusion and sadness. There are so many feelings of confusion as to why I'm not being treated as an equal or respected. The last time I tried "discussing" something there was every excuse not to and then I was told not to talk to him at all. I wait upon God and try so hard to quit thinking so hard about all of this. But it's amazing how much comes back to you when you finally talk about it. What makes it harder is that my husband and I work together (he's my boss) - I tried to relocate to another department but it didn't work out and my position right now is a flexible one with my children which I cannot afford to lose because of the time with my kids as well as financially. My husband is a good guy with a lot of people and with his work but he has some serious issues with his pride, ego, defensiveness, and 'blow ups'. He doesn't know how to love - I see it with our daughters - he's treating them like he did his older daughter (my step daughter) - buying their love with no real relationship. I try to put my all into my girls and God has blessed me with being the best mommy I can be. Sarah (and all the others who have written in this blog)… I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your words and prayers. I have been reading all the responses over and over again all summer long to get some encouragement and how wonderful it is to get it from complete strangers!

It’s really tough believing in myself but I’m working on it. I’m waiting for God to speak to me clearly so I understand what I am to do. Yes, I would love it if He sent me a postcard but I won’t hold my breath. He has sent special people into my life, He has been watching over me, and taking care of me. I thank God for His love for me.

I still struggle with the searching I’ve done since I got married. Searching for someone to listen to me, who wants to know me, wants to love me, wants to be my friend… it’s something I’ve done not realizing I’m starving for attention. I’m in no way a high maintenance person but have gotten so used to giving and caring for my husband that no one has been taking care of me. It makes me sad to think this could be my life. That I may never be strong enough to make choices for myself – always afraid of hurting others. All the things I’ve been learning about ME – my likes, dislikes, dreams, goals, etc… and I am in this covenant with the wrong person. Is it so wrong for me to want to be loved and taken care of and give of my love in return?

How do you deal with a person who treats you like you’re crazy, a nag, a witch with a capital B, selfish, and so on… and you know that is NOT you. I can’t even TRY to talk to my husband about anything that bothers me or upsets me because he accuses me of attacking him. It’s always been like that – as a stepmother there were no rules or guidelines with my stepdaughter; no standing up for himself towards his ex wife – it was always them against me (they’re history for me now); with finances there is no discussing anything bad (debt, etc.) – only good things; no discussing how WE want to handle the children; no being angry or upset… so I have become a happy, bubbly person with a lot of suppressed anger and resentment to cover up my confusion and sadness. There are so many feelings of confusion as to why I’m not being treated as an equal or respected. The last time I tried “discussing” something there was every excuse not to and then I was told not to talk to him at all.

I wait upon God and try so hard to quit thinking so hard about all of this. But it’s amazing how much comes back to you when you finally talk about it. What makes it harder is that my husband and I work together (he’s my boss) – I tried to relocate to another department but it didn’t work out and my position right now is a flexible one with my children which I cannot afford to lose because of the time with my kids as well as financially. My husband is a good guy with a lot of people and with his work but he has some serious issues with his pride, ego, defensiveness, and ‘blow ups’. He doesn’t know how to love – I see it with our daughters – he’s treating them like he did his older daughter (my step daughter) – buying their love with no real relationship. I try to put my all into my girls and God has blessed me with being the best mommy I can be.

]]> By: Susan Wagener http://www.laughyourway.com/blog/love-is-like-a-greased-pig/comment-page-1/#comment-937 Susan Wagener Sat, 12 Sep 2009 00:11:16 +0000 http://www.laughyourway.com/?p=479#comment-937 After working with married couples in troubled marriages for over ten years, I have witnessed the miracles that happen when two people commit themselves to each other in spite of their troubles and submit their lives to the Lord. Marriage is not easy, and it takes time to overcome the hurt and pain that has been inflicted on each other. But it can be done through the grace of God if two people are willing to work hard at it and change the destructive behaviors to healthy ones. This is when God can be glorified. His blessings will then flow through us to others. After working with married couples in troubled marriages for over ten years, I have witnessed the miracles that happen when two people commit themselves to each other in spite of their troubles and submit their lives to the Lord. Marriage is not easy, and it takes time to overcome the hurt and pain that has been inflicted on each other. But it can be done through the grace of God if two people are willing to work hard at it and change the destructive behaviors to healthy ones. This is when God can be glorified. His blessings will then flow through us to others.

]]> By: Recipe for Lasting Love « Jocelyn Storm http://www.laughyourway.com/blog/love-is-like-a-greased-pig/comment-page-1/#comment-936 Recipe for Lasting Love « Jocelyn Storm Fri, 11 Sep 2009 17:08:26 +0000 http://www.laughyourway.com/?p=479#comment-936 [...] Mark Gungor says love is like a greased pig.  We can catch it for a second but it slips away and we have to chase after it.  Although not as romantic a visual as the butterflies, it is accurate so relax when you fall into the disappointed pit.  It’s not the end of your relationship, it’s part of the natural growing pains that all couples experience. [...] [...] Mark Gungor says love is like a greased pig.  We can catch it for a second but it slips away and we have to chase after it.  Although not as romantic a visual as the butterflies, it is accurate so relax when you fall into the disappointed pit.  It’s not the end of your relationship, it’s part of the natural growing pains that all couples experience. [...]

]]> By: Michelle http://www.laughyourway.com/blog/love-is-like-a-greased-pig/comment-page-1/#comment-927 Michelle Thu, 10 Sep 2009 03:00:44 +0000 http://www.laughyourway.com/?p=479#comment-927 I'm 46 and after 16 yrs with the same man, 13 yrs as his wife, I have no delusions of happily everafter. I do however feel like I ended up with something different than I signed up for. Before we married he supposedly was a christian, and even though he had 2 kids from a previous marriage he was willing to have additional children. After we married that all changed. He had his kids and he didn't want any more. Then he professed to be a non-believer and over the years it has gotten worse. Then when the doctors told me I had a potentially grave condition I had to listen to his proclamation that he believed that the sick and the elderly had a duty to die. Over the years we have had many arguments over the words "F......Y......" At this point the one thing I'm having a hard time forgiving him for is saying those words to me while standing in my grandmothers house with my grandmother standing next to me. All I can think of is if my grandfather were alive, he would have knock my husband out! I'm currently considering divorce. So Pastor Gungor, any words of wisdom for a rational, logical, non-deluded woman? I’m 46 and after 16 yrs with the same man, 13 yrs as his wife, I have no delusions of happily everafter. I do however feel like I ended up with something different than I signed up for. Before we married he supposedly was a christian, and even though he had 2 kids from a previous marriage he was willing to have additional children. After we married that all changed. He had his kids and he didn’t want any more. Then he professed to be a non-believer and over the years it has gotten worse. Then when the doctors told me I had a potentially grave condition I had to listen to his proclamation that he believed that the sick and the elderly had a duty to die. Over the years we have had many arguments over the words “F……Y……” At this point the one thing I’m having a hard time forgiving him for is saying those words to me while standing in my grandmothers house with my grandmother standing next to me. All I can think of is if my grandfather were alive, he would have knock my husband out! I’m currently considering divorce. So Pastor Gungor, any words of wisdom for a rational, logical, non-deluded woman?

]]> By: debra http://www.laughyourway.com/blog/love-is-like-a-greased-pig/comment-page-1/#comment-914 debra Fri, 04 Sep 2009 08:35:24 +0000 http://www.laughyourway.com/?p=479#comment-914 Nicole, Reading all these comments led me to some hope, starting in 1 Samuel 25:2 the story where david and his men are very tired and hungry and had been protecting a very rich man's shepherds. david had sent a very humble request for food to the man. The man whose name was nabal sent back a very rude insult that enraged david who then had his men draw their swords to go after him and all his house. abigail nabal's beautiful, very intelligent wife was told about it, and quickly brought a huge feast out to meet david. she stopped him from avenging himself against his enemy and sheding innocent lives also. Any way God avenged david quickly and struck nabal dead and david took abigail for his wife. to me this goes along with delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart. i personally know this to be true as all of God word is, so God let nicole fall in love with you the way you want her to and let her delight herself in you the way you her to always, thanks, in Jesus Name. ha! because for me i did not know how i would be able to love God more than anything when i did not even have a clue what love really was, so that's what i asked Him for because He should know. Ha! so that became a simple childlike trust in Him and i ask for many things the same way. if He loves a cheerfull giver, then make me a cheerfull giver in Jesus name. and so on and away you go. He cherishes you and wants you to have all He has. He will do a quick work. anything you ask in Jesus Name will be given to you. keep it simple and don't add conditions to anything. i get everything i ask for ha! and so do you, it has nothing to do with us, He said it. Nicole,
Reading all these comments led me to some hope, starting in 1 Samuel 25:2 the story where david and his men are very tired and hungry and had been protecting a very rich man’s shepherds. david had sent a very humble request for food to the man. The man whose name was nabal sent back a very rude insult that enraged david who then had his men draw their swords to go after him and all his house. abigail nabal’s beautiful, very intelligent wife was told about it, and quickly brought a huge feast out to meet david. she stopped him from avenging himself against his enemy and sheding innocent lives also. Any way God avenged david quickly and struck nabal dead and david took abigail for his wife. to me this goes along with delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart. i personally know this to be true as all of God word is, so God let nicole fall in love with you the way you want her to and let her delight herself in you the way you her to always, thanks, in Jesus Name. ha! because for me i did not know how i would be able to love God more than anything when i did not even have a clue what love really was, so that’s what i asked Him for because He should know. Ha! so that became a simple childlike trust in Him and i ask for many things the same way. if He loves a cheerfull giver, then make me a cheerfull giver in Jesus name. and so on and away you go. He cherishes you and wants you to have all He has. He will do a quick work. anything you ask in Jesus Name will be given to you. keep it simple and don’t add conditions to anything. i get everything i ask for ha! and so do you, it has nothing to do with us, He said it.

]]> By: sarah http://www.laughyourway.com/blog/love-is-like-a-greased-pig/comment-page-1/#comment-907 sarah Wed, 02 Sep 2009 02:39:21 +0000 http://www.laughyourway.com/?p=479#comment-907 Hi missy, i feel for you. that is just no way to be treated... i wish you could get some professional advice on how to approach him so that the 2 of you could get marital counseling. it's absolutely VITAL to have a 3rd (and a christian professional if possible)person in a situation like that. just a note on the pig. i don't think the author meant that the 'slippery pig' is the spouse. but that it's True Love. And that's nobody personified. even the best of husbands. It's this 'thing' that we either first learn to receive ourselves, then learn to give to others. and the reason it's no slippery is that we don't have it in us naturally, it has to be a gift from God. you can be sure i will be praying for you, for though none of us deserve this True Love, yet God gives it to us every day of our lives, and i hope you know today that you are beautiful and you are loved!... Hi missy, i feel for you. that is just no way to be treated… i wish you could get some professional advice on how to approach him so that the 2 of you could get marital counseling. it’s absolutely VITAL to have a 3rd (and a christian professional if possible)person in a situation like that. just a note on the pig. i don’t think the author meant that the ’slippery pig’ is the spouse. but that it’s True Love. And that’s nobody personified. even the best of husbands. It’s this ‘thing’ that we either first learn to receive ourselves, then learn to give to others. and the reason it’s no slippery is that we don’t have it in us naturally, it has to be a gift from God. you can be sure i will be praying for you, for though none of us deserve this True Love, yet God gives it to us every day of our lives, and i hope you know today that you are beautiful and you are loved!…

]]> By: sarah http://www.laughyourway.com/blog/love-is-like-a-greased-pig/comment-page-1/#comment-906 sarah Mon, 31 Aug 2009 23:37:22 +0000 http://www.laughyourway.com/?p=479#comment-906 nicole, i just came upon your comments and would like to say to you that the devil is the enemy of your soul and he wants to condemn. don't accept ANY condemnations. don't even condemn yourself for being confused! Start imagining yourself the way God sees you. You know, not the God that's wearing a dark robe and judging us, but the God that's wearing 'sweat pants'/He's resting in His love towards you! He has taken care of it all for you, He DOES have a plan that He wants to unfold for you. I know church doesn't save anyone, but i am a strong believer that a believer will flourish in the misdt of a 'Body' of believers. If God is our Father, i believe the Body is our 'Mother'! I do hope that you have a church you can go to, and more than that, find sisters and brothers and love, and counsel and comfort. my heart is so touched by your situation, i've never been in your situation but have had many a close friend go through 'horror' stories. they all came through. that's what i pray for you. in the mean time, Jesus is in the boat, in the misdt of the storm. if you are interested to correspond with me or have someone to pray with, i would love to be that person for you. nicole, i just came upon your comments and would like to say to you that the devil is the enemy of your soul and he wants to condemn. don’t accept ANY condemnations. don’t even condemn yourself for being confused! Start imagining yourself the way God sees you. You know, not the God that’s wearing a dark robe and judging us, but the God that’s wearing ’sweat pants’/He’s resting in His love towards you! He has taken care of it all for you, He DOES have a plan that He wants to unfold for you. I know church doesn’t save anyone, but i am a strong believer that a believer will flourish in the misdt of a ‘Body’ of believers. If God is our Father, i believe the Body is our ‘Mother’! I do hope that you have a church you can go to, and more than that, find sisters and brothers and love, and counsel and comfort. my heart is so touched by your situation, i’ve never been in your situation but have had many a close friend go through ‘horror’ stories. they all came through. that’s what i pray for you. in the mean time, Jesus is in the boat, in the misdt of the storm. if you are interested to correspond with me or have someone to pray with, i would love to be that person for you.

]]> By: Bee MacGuire http://www.laughyourway.com/blog/love-is-like-a-greased-pig/comment-page-1/#comment-733 Bee MacGuire Mon, 24 Aug 2009 07:45:53 +0000 http://www.laughyourway.com/?p=479#comment-733 Precious, Nicole, I am SO SORRY that this happened to YOU at that very young and vulnerable age. You were 14 and could not have had the emotional or intellectual maturity to deal with an adult male with a strong and persuasive personality. And when the negative side of that personality began manifesting, you were in too deep, and had no defense mechanisms to help you to protect yourself. Please remember, when people have a good side and a bad side that, if that person is not absolutely committed to some kind of deep healing path, the negative side ALWAYS COMES BACK. I want for you only what YOU WANT FOR YOU. I trust your journey back to your own diginity and your own independance. Before you can be truly loved as you so deserve to be, you need to learn, after years of that, to love yourself. That is your greatest challenge, but you are so loved by angels, and have many winged soul friends hovering around you, cherishing you, worshipping the ground you walk on, on your side, wishing you well. You are unique and precious. And you have had great courage to walk this difficult walk. I trust your journey. We all do. We all know that: all the decisions you make, here in this, are the fastest way home. Xxxxx. B. Precious, Nicole,
I am SO SORRY that this happened to YOU at that very young and vulnerable age. You were 14 and could not have had the emotional or
intellectual maturity to deal with an adult male with a strong and persuasive personality. And when the negative side
of that personality began manifesting, you were in too deep, and had no defense mechanisms to help you to protect yourself.
Please remember, when people have a good side and a bad side that,
if that person is not absolutely committed to some kind of deep healing path,
the negative side ALWAYS COMES BACK.
I want for you only what YOU WANT FOR YOU.
I trust your journey back to your own diginity and your own independance.
Before you can be truly loved as you so deserve to be, you need to learn, after years of that,
to love yourself. That is your greatest challenge, but you are so loved by angels, and have many winged
soul friends hovering around you, cherishing you, worshipping the ground you walk on, on your side,
wishing you well. You are unique and precious. And you have had great courage to walk this difficult walk.
I trust your journey. We all do. We all know that: all the decisions you make, here in this, are the
fastest way home. Xxxxx. B.

]]> By: sheila http://www.laughyourway.com/blog/love-is-like-a-greased-pig/comment-page-1/#comment-711 sheila Fri, 14 Aug 2009 06:19:10 +0000 http://www.laughyourway.com/?p=479#comment-711 with ven thought about leaving him but i guess im hoping things will get Betterow .i allmost moved out but he said he didnt want me to that we would work on things but that hasnt happen. im a very loving person we get along great but he dont like to show his feelings its hard to deal I dontut dont kn want to leave buy dont know what 2 do its hard and hurts Sheila D with ven thought about leaving him but i guess im hoping things will get
Betterow .i allmost moved out but he said he didnt want me to that we would work on things but that hasnt happen. im a very loving person we get along great but he dont like to show his feelings its hard to deal I dontut dont kn want to leave buy dont know what 2 do its hard and hurts
Sheila D

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