Comments on: Sexless Marriage? The Desire Myth http://www.laughyourway.com/blog/desire-myth/ Improving Marriages, One Laugh at a Time Wed, 08 Sep 2010 13:57:21 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: chris http://www.laughyourway.com/blog/desire-myth/comment-page-1/#comment-3810 chris Wed, 18 Aug 2010 19:42:37 +0000 http://www.laughyourway.com/?p=628#comment-3810 This IS the more common situation by orders of magnitude and I was disappointed to see him make the men low drive comment. Im not sure why he did that, it doesnt seem like he panders to women but fact is MOST pastors do, and my friends that are pastors admit it openly. From "communication styles" to how we comport sexually, its all about keepin momma happy. This IS the more common situation by orders of magnitude and I was disappointed to see him make the men low drive comment. Im not sure why he did that, it doesnt seem like he panders to women but fact is MOST pastors do, and my friends that are pastors admit it openly.
From “communication styles” to how we comport sexually, its all about keepin momma happy.

]]> By: chris http://www.laughyourway.com/blog/desire-myth/comment-page-1/#comment-3809 chris Wed, 18 Aug 2010 19:39:38 +0000 http://www.laughyourway.com/?p=628#comment-3809 Your sample must be small, if you say its generally more men with lower desire. I like that you shatter myths....but its no myth that men have the higher drive...statistically, in general. Great points about not needing to be lathered up to start though. The church teaches the old "men, if you want a hot oven you must light the pilot in the morning"....while its true thats best....it has created a generation of Christian women who flat say I CANNOT HAVE SEX ON A WHIM AND WILL NOT.....bunk! I can tell you that once he starts an affair, a quick text msg and the notell motell is rockin! no pilot light required. Thay CAN and DO do it....pastors, please stop affirming the excuses. Your sample must be small, if you say its generally more men with lower desire. I like that you shatter myths….but its no myth that men have the higher drive…statistically, in general.

Great points about not needing to be lathered up to start though. The church teaches the old “men, if you want a hot oven you must light the pilot in the morning”….while its true thats best….it has created a generation of Christian women who flat say I CANNOT HAVE SEX ON A WHIM AND WILL NOT…..bunk!

I can tell you that once he starts an affair, a quick text msg and the notell motell is rockin! no pilot light required. Thay CAN and DO do it….pastors, please stop affirming the excuses.

]]> By: John http://www.laughyourway.com/blog/desire-myth/comment-page-1/#comment-3295 John Thu, 01 Jul 2010 20:42:05 +0000 http://www.laughyourway.com/?p=628#comment-3295 Teri, Try chiropractic to get your spine and whole body functioning better! We were not created to live in perpetual pain and dysfunction. Reduce or elimate internal interference to your healthy function and you'll enjoy life more. I don't know your specific condition, but correcting the spine's structure allows it to move better. It also reduces pressure on the spinal cord and nerves, aloowing your brain to better coordinate healing and function! Teri,

Try chiropractic to get your spine and whole body functioning better! We were not created to live in perpetual pain and dysfunction. Reduce or elimate internal interference to your healthy function and you’ll enjoy life more.

I don’t know your specific condition, but correcting the spine’s structure allows it to move better. It also reduces pressure on the spinal cord and nerves, aloowing your brain to better coordinate healing and function!

]]> By: Nancy http://www.laughyourway.com/blog/desire-myth/comment-page-1/#comment-3122 Nancy Fri, 04 Jun 2010 17:18:10 +0000 http://www.laughyourway.com/?p=628#comment-3122 Wow Ted if everything you are saying is true I dont know what else you can do to make it better. Sometimes you dont know what you got til it's gone. Sounds like your wife is taking you for granted. It's time for a long heart to heart with her. Not demanding pleading or desperate. But a true expression of your desire to have a better marriage. Some women could go forever without having sex. Does she show you love in another way? Maybe in a way she thinks is love but you dont necessarily? Often people show love in the way they want to recieve it. What fills her love tank? What fills yours besides sex? If you each discover that, maybe sex will follow. Wow Ted if everything you are saying is true I dont know what else you can do to make it better. Sometimes you dont know what you got til it’s gone. Sounds like your wife is taking you for granted. It’s time for a long heart to heart with her. Not demanding pleading or desperate. But a true expression of your desire to have a better marriage. Some women could go forever without having sex. Does she show you love in another way? Maybe in a way she thinks is love but you dont necessarily? Often people show love in the way they want to recieve it. What fills her love tank? What fills yours besides sex? If you each discover that, maybe sex will follow.

]]> By: Ted http://www.laughyourway.com/blog/desire-myth/comment-page-1/#comment-2728 Ted Wed, 28 Apr 2010 20:11:04 +0000 http://www.laughyourway.com/?p=628#comment-2728 I thought it was always the men that wanted more sex not the women. In my case it's definetly me. What's a normal sex life? I don't think what we have is. Ours feels like it's dead. We're just in our 30's! We have it around 10 times a year. When we do have it it's on a special occasion like our anniversary or Valentine's day and she acts like it's a treat for me. Which is a little demeaning honestly. We once went half a year without having sex. I admit I'm a guy and I would have sex with my wife every other day if not every day if I could. But I don't even remotely try that much. But I would be willing to settle for once a week or whatever. But right now it's not even every month. I'm a decent looking guy but it just makes me feel unattractive and that there's something wrong with me. I don't know what to do. I have no idea what the problem is. I've tried bring it up subtly but she just brushed it off or makes excuses. I've tried everything I can think of; pulling a bigger load of the housework, doing dishes, laundry, cleaning house making dinners sometimes. But it just made it worse for me. Now not only do I work a 40 hr job, go to school part-time, and do all the yardwork, I do half if not more of the dishes, laundry and house cleaning and still no sex. While she works part time. I'm not a jealous or controlling guy and I watch the kids while she goes out for "girl's night out" and goes out after work with her friends from work. I've tried being romantic, actually I think I just am more romantic all the time than she ever is. I listen to her talk for hours about her bad days and whatever else that I really don't want to hear but I have a genuine interest and love her. I do everything for her. I've never hurt her in any way so there's nothing like that there. I don't understand. I contiually try and get rejected. It's gotten to where I don't even try anymore because I don't want someone that doesn't want me or isn't attracted to me. I've started to become a little bitter and I've started to build up a resentment. I've tried to bring it up and she's just brushed it off. I don't want to criticize her and make her "feel horrible" like this blog says. So what do I do? I thought it was always the men that wanted more sex not the women. In my case it’s definetly me. What’s a normal sex life? I don’t think what we have is. Ours feels like it’s dead. We’re just in our 30′s! We have it around 10 times a year. When we do have it it’s on a special occasion like our anniversary or Valentine’s day and she acts like it’s a treat for me. Which is a little demeaning honestly. We once went half a year without having sex. I admit I’m a guy and I would have sex with my wife every other day if not every day if I could. But I don’t even remotely try that much. But I would be willing to settle for once a week or whatever. But right now it’s not even every month. I’m a decent looking guy but it just makes me feel unattractive and that there’s something wrong with me.
I don’t know what to do. I have no idea what the problem is. I’ve tried bring it up subtly but she just brushed it off or makes excuses. I’ve tried everything I can think of; pulling a bigger load of the housework, doing dishes, laundry, cleaning house making dinners sometimes. But it just made it worse for me. Now not only do I work a 40 hr job, go to school part-time, and do all the yardwork, I do half if not more of the dishes, laundry and house cleaning and still no sex. While she works part time. I’m not a jealous or controlling guy and I watch the kids while she goes out for “girl’s night out” and goes out after work with her friends from work. I’ve tried being romantic, actually I think I just am more romantic all the time than she ever is. I listen to her talk for hours about her bad days and whatever else that I really don’t want to hear but I have a genuine interest and love her. I do everything for her. I’ve never hurt her in any way so there’s nothing like that there. I don’t understand.

I contiually try and get rejected. It’s gotten to where I don’t even try anymore because I don’t want someone that doesn’t want me or isn’t attracted to me. I’ve started to become a little bitter and I’ve started to build up a resentment. I’ve tried to bring it up and she’s just brushed it off. I don’t want to criticize her and make her “feel horrible” like this blog says. So what do I do?

]]> By: joann http://www.laughyourway.com/blog/desire-myth/comment-page-1/#comment-2583 joann Thu, 15 Apr 2010 02:10:45 +0000 http://www.laughyourway.com/?p=628#comment-2583 thanks for sharing about woman not having to "feel" like having sex. we are those maybe 10 times a year and I was thinking maybe I don't love my husband any more because I didn't "feel" like having sex like we used to.......many many years ago. We are in our late 50's. So now I know I am ok and will look at this differently. thanks, you might have saved our marriage, I was getting worried! thanks for sharing about woman not having to “feel” like having sex. we are those maybe 10 times a year and I was thinking maybe I don’t love my husband any more because I didn’t “feel” like having sex like we used to…….many many years ago. We are in our late 50′s. So now I know I am ok and will look at this differently. thanks, you might have saved our marriage, I was getting worried!

]]> By: Amy http://www.laughyourway.com/blog/desire-myth/comment-page-1/#comment-2298 Amy Fri, 26 Mar 2010 03:49:12 +0000 http://www.laughyourway.com/?p=628#comment-2298 Our sexlife is dead. There isn't any at all and there hasn't been for about 30 years, Its to late for us to reignite any flames. Our marriage consuler suggested more communication, more togetherness and possibly a weekend away. We tryed all of this and it made matters worse. In our 60 s now and very much set in our ways. I miss sex but I have gotten use to doing without any. Husband is on blood pressure pills, cholesterol, depression, and ulcer pills. His libdo is zip, nadda. But we are suriving and yes you can live without sex. Were not weird or anything its just the way it is fo us. Our sexlife is dead. There isn’t any at all and there hasn’t been for about 30 years, Its to late for us to reignite any flames. Our marriage consuler suggested more communication, more togetherness and possibly a weekend away. We tryed all of this and it made matters worse.
In our 60 s now and very much set in our ways. I miss sex but I have gotten use to doing without any. Husband is on blood pressure pills, cholesterol, depression, and ulcer pills. His libdo is zip, nadda. But we are suriving and yes you can live without sex. Were not weird or anything its just the way it is fo us.

]]> By: Petrice http://www.laughyourway.com/blog/desire-myth/comment-page-1/#comment-2296 Petrice Thu, 25 Mar 2010 18:36:08 +0000 http://www.laughyourway.com/?p=628#comment-2296 Thank you so much for your godly comments...very helpful, considering all the rest of the worldly views out there...always enjoy your all you post....please don't stop..appreciate every bit of information....Thank you....Have a blessed day... Thank you so much for your godly comments…very helpful, considering all the rest of the worldly views out there…always enjoy your all you post….please don’t stop..appreciate every bit of information….Thank you….Have a blessed day…

]]> By: Dennis http://www.laughyourway.com/blog/desire-myth/comment-page-1/#comment-2291 Dennis Thu, 25 Mar 2010 14:08:24 +0000 http://www.laughyourway.com/?p=628#comment-2291 My wife has a condition that affects he ablity to spread her legs. We have not had intercourse for years but still enjoy sex by finger stimulation of the clitoris. She enjoys the climax and is satisfied sexually. She also satisfies me with the use of her hands. My wife has a condition that affects he ablity to spread her legs. We have not had intercourse for years but still enjoy sex by finger stimulation of the clitoris. She enjoys the climax and is satisfied sexually. She also satisfies me with the use of her hands.

]]> By: Jeff Schmidt http://www.laughyourway.com/blog/desire-myth/comment-page-1/#comment-2289 Jeff Schmidt Thu, 25 Mar 2010 13:49:21 +0000 http://www.laughyourway.com/?p=628#comment-2289 What do you do when there are health issues that make it physically impossible? What do you do when there are health issues that make it physically impossible?

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